A Year of Gratitude
How I rediscovered myself over 52 weeks in unexpected ways.
Ten years ago, around this time of year, I almost died.
I was in India with my family, celebrating my wedding earlier that summer. A trip meant to mark the beginning of a new chapter became, instead, the moment that quietly rewired how I would experience ambition, purpose, and leadership for the rest of my life.
Not all awakenings are gentle. Sometimes our bodies force us to listen.
The weeks after I returned were brutal.
The stress, the illness, and the sustained fever took a physical toll I wasn’t prepared for. I lost more than half my hair. What had once been long, thick, and familiar suddenly fell away, forcing me to cut it into a short pixie just to feel like myself again.
I learned that what I experienced stemmed from an undiagnosed autoimmune condition. The result?
My joints were inflamed.
My body was weak.
Simple movement required patience I didn’t yet have.
It took almost a month for my full mobility to return, and far longer to reconcile the disconnect between the woman I had been and the body I was now learning to inhabit.
What I didn’t know then was that my body knew I needed a change, something that happened long before my mind was ready.
But still, that near-death experience left me invigorated. It made me realize how precious time is, and I wanted to do more by giving back, being more purposeful, and making the pain and physical impact mean something.
So I pursued a Master of Public Administration, convinced that corporate social responsibility was the bridge between the work I knew and the purpose I craved. For a moment, it felt aligned.
But old habits are comfortable, especially for ambitious women. It didn’t take long for me to slip back into what I knew best: chasing titles, seeking promotion, and proving my worth by overperforming.
It wasn’t long before I returned to corporate life — right back to where I had been before India — telling myself this was maturity, pragmatism, responsibility. In hindsight, it was survival disguised as success.
Then motherhood intervened.
Another harrowing medical experience – 32 hours in labor and an emergency C-section – during which my body demanded I slow down, whether I wanted to or not.
And yet, after my maternity leave, I returned once again to those ambitious defaults.
But this time was different. I didn’t want to just push through the burnout because it wasn’t just about me. My life had fundamentally changed. And the cost of pretending otherwise became impossible to ignore.
Fast forward to this time last year. Six months after leaving my job, I finally admitted what I had been circling for years: entrepreneurship wasn’t a detour; it was my true calling. And with that clarity came a choice.
I decided to dedicate a year to gratitude.
I committed to starting and ending each day with gratitude. I wrote 52 handwritten letters — one each week — to people who shaped me.
Some were still in my life, and others passed through briefly.
Some challenged me, and some comforted me.
But all of them left a mark.
The goal was never to get a response, reconnect, or be validated.
Yet the responses came.
Responses I didn’t expect: handwritten notes, emails, phone calls, text messages. They shared moments of humanity that reminded me how interconnected our lives really are.
Gratitude didn’t just help me remember others; it helped me remember myself.
Through reflection, I rediscovered moments I had forgotten and the people I had lost touch with. The versions of myself I had outgrown and the ones I was ready to reclaim.
Gratitude became my anchor as I rebuilt my business, reminding me to choose long-term value over short-term gains.
It didn’t soften my ambition or change who I am fundamentally; it sharpened it—allowing me to make decisions focused on purpose, not pressure.
What This Year Taught Me (and What I Hope It Sparks For You)
Through this year of reflection, I learned some important lessons:
Your body can force you to slow down, even when ambition keeps you moving.
Not every awakening leads to immediate change, and that’s okay.
Ambition without reflection eventually leads to disconnection and misalignment.
Gratitude is a powerful tool to help you choose what actually matters.
Sometimes, building your foundation means looking back before moving forward.
It’s important to note that this is just one of the experiences that shaped the many chapters of my life. Chapters we’ll dive into on divorce. Chronic illness. Body image. Adoption. Late diagnosis of ADHD.
Each of those life moments involved rebuilding identity over and over again.
But for now, I want to turn this outward because the most meaningful part of my year of gratitude wasn’t just what I learned. It was realizing how much we carry alone when we don’t have to.
Let’s practice expressing gratitude together.
If this story touched something in you, I’d love to invite you to practice gratitude together, in your own way and at your comfort level.
Choose one of the options and add your response in the comments to start a gratitude ripple.
Remember One Person: Write the first name or initials of someone who shaped you, even if they didn’t know it.
Share Your AND: Finish the sentence, “Right now, I’m learning to be [insert adjective] AND [insert adjective].
Send One Message: Add ‘sent’ after texting or DM’ing a simple, short message, like “Thanks for being part of my story.”
These small gestures are simple acts that help us build community and let everyone know they’re not alone.
If you want to live differently as we start the new year, this is a beautiful place to begin. It’s a small step toward redefining success and toward experiencing the subtle power of AND.
Practicing gratitude has definitely gotten me through some dark and difficult times in my life. And it is a significant part of my faith practice. I'm grateful for people who shared life lessons just by being who they are! Some names: Charles, Ilona, Anthony, Evelyn... so many others.